“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Never had I heard a philosophy I believe in summed up so succinctly. Thank you, Sheetal!
I actually studied the ways of karma, mindfulness, the ego, and suffering back in college, and it really stuck with me, making me the man I am now. Reading this in Sheetal’s Blog really inspired me to write about it.
Buddhism interested me a great deal when I was taking classes about 6 years ago; I had been away from the church for a long time, was getting tired of life, was wondering why I couldn’t be happy… and while Buddhism didn’t bring me closer to God, it did enlighten me on other things; and I spent many a night on lonely shift duty at California Steel pondering these spiritual issues. Though these may not be ultimate truths, they are TO ME, and that is what matters. I firmly believe that everyone must find their own way and their own meaning in this crazy world.
When God created us, he wanted a way for us to connect with each other, not only in physical levels but on planes of spirituality. Spirituality is hard to grasp, it works beyond our control, and makes us gravitate towards certain people and away from others. This explains why we are not friends with everyone who has the same qualities we like; more on this another time.
The Physical side I describe of in levels because it is exactly that; this is the side that is uniquely human, and is made up of two main parts; the senses and the emotions. People may think that since the emotions come from inside of you, that makes it spiritual, but thats not true. Emotion is purely human, a response to the environment around us. Emotions are important because they help us survive, like giving us good feelings towards anything that is remotely connected with procreation, and bad feelings when confronted by enemies to give us the anger to fight. And just like you can prevent yourself from touching, tasting, or smelling certain things, you can also control your emotions and hence the stress that these emotions create.
It is helpful to think of it as described, as projections. We are all projections of our spirit, in human form so that we can interact with each other in this world. We don’t know why we were made this way; maybe we haven’t attained the level it takes to live in a “spirit world”? Who knows. But we are all spirits connected to human bodies. Our spirit is who we truly are. It is closely connected to how we think, act, and make decisions (at least thats what I believe). So this brings us to the first part of the quote. Nothing others do is because of you. If another person does something that affects you in any way, it is always either;
a.) a physical or emotional reaction not against you, but against something that was created in their environment; or
b.) a spiritual or logical action that has come from only their own spirit within.
Once you learn that you are not the cause of others actions around you, then you must learn to not let other people’s actions affect you. That is the second part, and it’s all about the ego.
Can anyone really tell me what is an ego exactly? To most people, it has bad connotations; people only mention that someone has “an ego” if they are “stuck on themselves” or “have a big head”. Actually, everyone has an ego. (Well, except for the most devout Buddhist monks).
Once again, everything I am saying here is what I believe. If you were to look these terms up in the dictionary or study some textbook, you may get other opinions…
Your ego is a castle, with walls made up of a collection of things; your place in this world, your importance, your honor, and your ideas and ideals that must be defended. It is hard for us, being human, to not imagine something being penetrated when we are hurt by someone else; so this ego we construct is for our own justifications. But it is completely imaginary. To be completely rid of an ego is what Buddhist Monks try to do their whole lives.
Note, this is one thing I don’t agree with in Buddhism’s true purpose. Though it is noble to be “free” from the affects of and causing suffering around you, it is just too much. I don’t think God intended for us to try to be as non-human as possible, and miss out on all the good things in life. because if you free yourself too much, how can you enjoy the beach, or football, or the good things that people do for you, or anything else you like? Why can’t we just flip a switch, leave it on and enjoy the good times, but flip it off when you get crap flung your way…
I believe you can. And that’s exactly what I do.
When someone does something to hurt you, are they really hurting you? What are they hurting? If you are hurt by the actions of others, it’s not because of them; it’s because you left the switch on to your ego, and it’s imaginary walls got battered. You must retaliate, because you let others see this person attack your castle, so you want to let everyone know that it is well defended. When there’s no castle, theres no hurt, no reason to retaliate, no reason to prove that others can’t attack… because there is nothing there. And because there is no castle, it doesn’t mean you have left something bare; it doesn’t mean you have left something undefended; and it doesn’t mean you are less of a person without it.
This is just a small little slice of my philosophy pie; maybe another time I will expound on more…
wow…..this is so cold, callous even. the ability to fully appreciate emotions (yours or that of another….whatever the cause of that emotion)…..Babe, that’s living.
Ice Princess, did you completely miss the paragraph where I explained I did not agree with this philosophy to the extreme… God intended for us to enjoy this world, and everything in it…
This is merely a way to put things in perspective vice allowing negative things to spiral us into depression, or doing things we might regret…
Of course I caught that paragraph. I read this post a few times. You go on to say that you allow yourself to feel the good, but not the bad…,”flip it off when you get crap flung your way…I believe you can. And that’s exactly what I do.” Your words.
I dunno?…maybe I’m reading too much into it. To me…it still sounds?….well, unlike the KP I thought I knew.
Hey KP, just reading your blog, some interesting things. Things that you feel like you should be but some of these things you aren’t. I think ICE PRINCESS pointed it out that its “unlike the KP she thought she knew.” From personal experience, you can’t just turn off a switch, you haven’t been able to. Most people can’t. Hinduism has a very similar philosophy which we can always talk about some other time (way to long to go into here) and it would be ideal to live in the moment but not get attached to it (2 completely different things) but unfortunately not many of us have attained that level yet, including you….
Again, you people seem to be imagining me standing stoic in the face of adversity and heartbreak… I don’t do that and I don’t claim to… I have emotions just like everyone else, sometimes even more than the normal guy… Sometimes it takes me a day to get over things and put them in the proper perspective. Sometimes it takes weeks. Depends on how close I feel to the person. It’s not an automatic thing for me. I’m glad I have gotten some good feedback and discussion on this topic from my friends, but don’t think you understand me and can judge me completely just from one post.